My First Steps... JaI

MY FIRST STEPS.

Friday, July 30, 2004

| | Debate !!

Thursday nights, usually not very happening, partly cause they happen to be my cooking turn nights and partly cause everyone does have to go to work on fridays.

Sapna being in town usually is reason enough to go out and have fun. It also gave me reason to skip my cooking turn and go out with the guys :). We went to a place called TOM TOM in Adams Morgan, a nice party area in the heart of DC, this is one of the untapped resources in DC, cause somehow we havent partied enough there :)

3 to 4 rounds of bud lights and kamakazee shots later, rao asked us the age old question "Can a guy and a girl be ONLY good friends", while we guys were still discussing that, basu came up with another classic - "Is being drunk, reason enough to do any crap, and get away with it"

lots of daaru rounds and video game sessions later also, we guys could not come to a conclusion, i guess these are some questions which will never have any 2 ppl agreeing on a common answer.

listening to Believe - Cher.
JaI. | 4:33 PM

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

| | Just wondering !!

I dont really want to write too much on cricket, but sadly that happens to be on my mind more often than not :)

With rahul dravid not playing in the last 2 crucial matches for india, i am just beginning to wonder, whether he really is the Mr.Dependable of indian cricket ? Maybe he is - i dont doubt his abilities as a class batsman, and that he delivers quite often for india.

Looking back at the last 18 months, which has undoubtedly been his purple patch in world cricket - he hasnt performed in any of the so called crucial matches, be it the WC semis or finals, the VB series finals and other crunch matches like the last two. So does that make him the proverbial "choker".

*(Dravid fans - taking nothing away from what he has done, am just trying to show u how it feels when ppl point fingers on GOD :)) *

listening to Pehla Nasha - JJWS.
JaI. | 2:22 PM

Monday, July 26, 2004

| | Phir bhi dil hai hindustani!

The weekend was nice, had good thai food followed by bourne supremacy on friday night. Its a nice movie with great effects but still doesnt beat bourne identity. It shows Matt living in apna Goa for some time at the start :) and has a fundoo car chase in the end.

Most of saturday was spent in lazing around and playing a lot of cricket. Saturday night was the big one, India - Pak in the asia cup and we guys had a uname/pword for the cricket joy website which was showing live streaming video. The match was supposed to start 4 30 in the morning our time, and we were all worked up and excited, but around 11 ish we figured that they wont be showing it anymore. Then started the struggle to figure out a way to see the match - any which way! Rao called up some 10 customer service numbers, avi made some phone calls too, but to no avail.

Hrishi, sapna and sandeep were in the same kind of situation in NJ, trying to figure out a way to see the match. Someone mentioned that a particular ARY Gold chanel on dish was showing the matches live, we confirmed it and tried to find someone who had a dish at home. The search narrowed down to madan, we tried calling him but couldnt get through and it seemed like this would be another one of the "refresh webpage for latest score" type scene. But around 12 30 madan called back and confirmed that ARY was indeed showing the match.

Without a second thought, those guys just left home and drove down to DC all the way from NJ, at 1 am on saturday night(to see the match and be with us). 3.5 hours and about a 200 mile drive later, we were sitting in front of the tv screen with the indian flag in hand, cheering "Team India" .The result of the match apart, those were a good 9 hours spent at madans place. Cricket enthusiasts in the real sense i realise that we have done all kinds of stunts (not even counting waking up at odd hours at which the matches are telecast) to see matches - in the last couple of years.

I guess even tho india lost, it was worth the pain. The classic commentary by ranatunga, manjrekar and rameej raja, the non stop crap that we were dishing out, the odd moments when India DID dominate the match, GOD's allround performance, the final over of the match when even tho india lost by 60 runs - it seemed as if pak had lost due to the bonus point thingie, and yes sitting and watching cricket with close friends !!!

JaI. | 11:30 AM

Thursday, July 22, 2004

| | SHIT part 2!!

This is the second and final part of the "shit series", the content might be a little gross, but is a must read. I thought it was really funny :)

The Frightened Turtle
This kind of shit that pokes its head out and then quickly goes back in .

The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your a** before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your as***le feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet for sooooo long that your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your a** as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall off the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit. (hehehehe...this one was kuch bhee)

Oh Shit ! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your a** so furiously - you run out of toilet paper and you say, "OH SHIT !"

The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your a** like pee, and just when you start wiping your a** your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

listening to Another Night - Real McCoy.

JaI. | 1:53 AM

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

| | SHIT !!

(UPDATED) - aakashwaani for all loosers who think otherwise (chuckle), direct from the ghode's mouth, check THIS

Met my cousin sis in boston this weekend, had an overdose of goood home made desi food, a couple of nice movies and hours of the XBOX.
Then there was the WWE Monday Night Raw in the MCI center in downtown, one sport that not many ppl follow, i have been following it for close to 14 years now and to see the people live in action was something else - and no wrestling is not all made up, they actually hurt each other in the ring.

Continuing with the humor, here is part 1 of an interesting "Kinds of Shit" series :)

Ghost Shit
You know you have shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

Teflon-coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it !!!!

Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your a** 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your a** and you're about to stand up when you realize it ..... you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you loose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit.
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your a** wet.

You Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit.

Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My God!! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's eat again when your as****e stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

...to be continued

p.s. those who had already started doubting...Sachin will have an impact on the outcome of the asia cup.

listening to Come and get your love - Real McCoy.

JaI. | 12:10 AM

Monday, July 19, 2004

| | PJ :)

Once upon a time... In a village, there came a lion & started troubling villagers. Being frustrated because of the lion, people decide to take some action. They decide that after 6:00 o'clock in the evening everybody will return home and lock the doors from inside. The trick works, lion comes and finds nothing. Second day also it comes and sees the same thing everywhere! It happens for two-three nights. Then finally one day, the frustrated lion comes and lock all the doors from outside and goes back into the forest.

think of a title for the story ...

"SHER-LOCK-HOMES" ...hehehe.

JaI. | 12:00 PM

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

| | Wish List !! (UPDATED)

After having seen the wish list option on amazon.com, and created one there myself, and after having read monty's too - i thought I should come up with a small one of my own here.

These are things i wish to own in the near future.

xbox
iPod
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Nokia N-Gage QD
Sony cybershot DSC-P100
Sony VAIO TR
Must have's from express
Ford Mustang - a long shot this one (but someday soon:))
These $1000

12 - 18 months aint such a bad deadline for converting this from a wish list to a already have list ..eh ?

pj of the day - A nun visits a doc for urine test.Her report gets exchanged.
Doc: Nun u r pregnant.
Nun: Oh my god! We can't even trust candles now!

listening to U n I - Hum Tum.
JaI. | 1:58 PM

Monday, July 12, 2004

| | Cricket !

with asia cup round the corner, sachin is entering his 16th season in International cricket, that would mean that he has actually spent more than half his life donning the indian blue colours *phew*. That also means that i have spent those many years following his fortunes and seeing all his matches...literally.

While still on cricket, i am reminded of some of sidhus quips. Some on the top of my mind right now go...

That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over.
Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope. (hehehe..one of my favouritest, this was after ganguly ran out dravid)
Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!

Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!

Have i missed any ? One of the most entertaining commentators, Sidhu is now an MP - wonder what fun the other MP's might be having in parliament at his expense.

p.s. This is the start of a huge season for india - with natwest,ICC knockout, SA and Aus touring india et all. Hope we can maintain our unofficial "number 2" tag at the end of the season too.

pj of the day - A drunkard was brought to court.Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,"Order... order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Aah ... Finally - Thank you,your honour,I'll have a scotch and soda."

listening to With or without you - U2.
JaI. | 12:23 PM

Friday, July 09, 2004

| | Letter from the US !

A bit morbid but still a great laugh!!

A Patel family in gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top, which read:

Dear brothers and sisters, I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave are all consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute them among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta Aunty, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for.

Please take them off her. The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my teenager nephews.

Please distribute all these uniformly and if anything more required let me know as Bapa is also not feeling too well nowadays...

Your loving sister,
Radhika.

This made me realise - we actually end up spending a lot of money on shopping before going home, and that is one of the reasons that an india trip seems huge. Shopping for immediate family, friends, relatives, their friends and their relatives... phew. The worst part is , it is considered more mandatory than voluntary. Next india trip (whenever it is) - no formality no extra spending, only ticket ka kharcha.

listening to OYE OYE - Tridev.
JaI. | 3:51 PM

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

| | Independence Day !

If there is ever any weekend that should be spent in DC, it is the july 4th weekend, simply cause it is the capital of the US and has one of the best display of fireworks. Even though i have been living in DC for 2 years, i havent had a chance to see the fireworks and the live band in the mall on july 4th.

One of the most anticipated trip this summer, me and 11 other friends went White Water Rafting and camping to West Virginia. Coincidently, I was doing the exact same thing last year on the same day in a different place with a different set of friends. The best part is, even tho both trips had the camping-rafting combo, both were so different in the kind of fun we had.

The highlight of the trip was the 7 odd hours spent in the New River. We were divided into groups of 8 on each raft, with a guide to do most of the navigation and talking. The rapids varied from Class 1 to Class 5, with stretches of still waters in between. There was jumping off 20 feet high rocks, falling in and out of the rafts, swimming in still waters, struggling to climb back on the raft, lottsa letching at desi kudiyaan (tho basu was busy with ryan - our guide:)), a formality lunch break in between, some posing for the video camera :)and LOADS OF FUN in those 7 hours. There were so many desis around us, that aisa laga we had come rafting in rishikesh with a few foreigners for company :)

We also learnt the 3 most common phrases a guide uses "Just around the bend", "It varies" and "Only 45 minutes" - any question that u might ask em can be answered in a subtle manner by one of the above phrases.

This was a classic outdoor trip - with lottsa daaru, camping, american football, bruises,sun tan, bonfires, lost cell phones, crapping in holes and rao's first speeding ticket here in the US.

listening to Main aisa kyon hoon - Lakshya.

JaI. | 4:24 PM

Thursday, July 01, 2004

| | Sometimes life can be such a drag, that u have to literally go behind it and try pushing it forward. (Whatever that meant:))

Godji himself was heard saying "I'm not God. I have a right to fail," - i say how modest.

And i still feel, the william sisters should start playing in the men's circuit, its not fair to see these jaanwars play the same sport that the Mary pierce's and the sabitini's (slurrrp) used to play. It is simply not fair to the other "female" players out there. JaI. | 12:31 AM